Little Women

Yes I am a feminist. No I don’t wear hipster clothes.

EVERY woman cares about the way she looks (if you don’t you never got laid, never will)

Men are shallow but here is the truth most women are too. There is nothing bad about wanting to look good (imagine katy perry from last friday night before she got all yum trying to strip in a club. No can do.)

But when the pretty on the outside gets fugly on the inside? Enough botox ladies, did you not know your best ‘asset’ will always be your heart(unless you are Beyonce! No guy would care if she had a black heart!)

I have a problem with so many things women are supposed to love,

Fairy tales. A prince riding on a horse comes to rescue me whilst I am dressed in rags. I tried that by the street one day, he was in his Maserati. Our eyes met, I thought we had a moment seconds later I was covered in mud.

Bikinis. Well that is one reason every girl ends up crying on weekends. Baywatch you ruined being fat for me.

Sex in the city. Every woman is a cougar? Will let you know when I hit menopause.

Moon lit walks with the man I love. Sheesh. If I loved him walking isn’t what I would want to do.

Tequila….. Whiskey please.

Super heroes. Sure Thor, Batman, even Superman(rolls eyes). Rich men or Gods or Superman(rolls eyes)…. Pushing it?

True love over one night stands. Its not just a skank reflex, every girl dreams of the no strings attached. Estrogen does work a lot like testosterone.

World peace. I hate most women I know. Give me the missile codes and there will be blood.

Shoes. Of course I love wearing those break my back pair of heels. And yes the diamonds make them SO much more comfortable.

Hummus. Gave that to my dog she gave me her bitch you crazy look.

So ladies if you want to stop being treated like a piece of ass instead of an actual human being all you have to say is,
Yes I am a straight woman in a bar. No I don’t want to see your dick. Yes, I am sure.

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