Is it too much to ask?

Because stereotypes.

Is it too much to ask that you put down the new edition of vogue and pick up a real book (I know Hugo will be gibberish to you but I think we can start with Austen)

Maybe Marilyn is your hero, but is it too much to ask for you to give She Hulk a chance? (Green and smart what’s not to like?)

Yes we know she is wearing an ugly dress and slept with a dozen guys in a week. But is it too much to ask that you don’t judge and let her be? (Then again, gossip feeds your size 0 body. I wouldn’t want you to starve.)

I admire your confidence and your sense of style. But is it too much to ask for you to stop asking me if I want a makeover? (Bitch please. My sweater vest is vintage)

If your boyfriend physically abuses you is it too much to ask that you find your voice and make a stand? (Because if you can’t get a happy ending there sure is no hope for me)

When you are 40 and single is it too much to ask that you stop throwing yourself at every man you meet? (And in case you are in that place and wondering what to do with your life; I am always low on perpetually horny study subjects)

Is it too much to ask that you understand the real difference between a Ursula and Ariel is not in appearance but in spirit. (Although you have one on me. You figured out good girl gone bad makes the frat boys drool)

The brain is not an ornament on display. Is it too much to ask that you use it? (But then again, You would if you could)

There are so many questions unanswered. So many ideas. So many thoughts. Is it too much to ask that you find some answers? (No! How skinny you can get without dying is not what I meant!)


the perfect woman!

I read this list! It made me sick! But once I did………..
1) A perfect woman would have to be pretty.

2) She’d have to be hot (there’s a difference).

Pretty and hot? If only you had more blood supply to your cortex.

3) The perfect woman would be a good cook.

And yet for some reason every restraunt has a man in the kitchen and every house a woman!

4) The perfect woman would like sports, not chick flicks. She would watch football with me.

If she likes chick flicks she would definitely marry a retard like you! Really? You want a hot girl who likes sports and will put up with you?!

5) Despite liking sports, the perfect woman would still talk like a lady.

So basically you watch football, pump your body with adrenaline and swear like a pirate with his ass on fire. And she sits beside you with a glass of wine and acts like she has a rod up her ass?!

6) The perfect woman would like beer, but not enough to get a beer gut. Just enough to let me drink it.

So you don’t like a beer guzzling monster. And you want her to like one?
And Mr. Iamfullofshit if she drinks beer she is out of your league!

7) The perfect woman would say what she really thought.

You shouldn’t have put that on your list! Because once you know what she is thinking, you will be walking away with your weenie tucked between your legs.

8) A perfect woman wouldn’t ask questions if she didn’t want the answer.

A perfect woman would already know all the answers.

There was more! But I couldn’t read the entire list without throwing up!