The dating heirarchy in the medical world

Walking through the hospital hallways, scenes from Grey’s Anatomy play in my head in slow motion.
Maybe surgeons in real life aren’t insanely hot but they sure do spend a lot of time in the on call room!(Even Shonda Rhimes needs inspiration!)

1. The hot female interns sleep with their attending on the very first day, and pretend they didn’t know who he was(even if it is the truth, no one wants to look desperate)

2.What of the not so hot female interns? They get cats, mostly!

3. The lower the neckline of a scrub nurse the more marriages she has ended.

4. What if you are married to a surgeon and getting old (like a scalpel)? Might as well find your self a new person(or a cat) because your husband/wife have to upgrade to a skinny resident(a cryoprobe!). Nothing personal.

5. Paramedics!! Universal rule: they are ALWAYS hot! More like the firemen of the medical world!

6. Med students? They are invisible to almost everyone in the hospital. They are those poor grubs who spend their time fantasizing about the resident they occasionally get a glimpse of through the zillion backs blocking their view.

7. Patients! I don’t know where all those ‘even a doctor can’t keep his hands off’ kind of patients come from?!

8. A ring clipped to the scrubs means ‘I am available, that’s just a fashion choice!’

9. Even the ones who are cursed(never to find love) find that person they want to spend eternity with(of course only after failed marriages, wired relationships with patients/nurses/residents, and more often than not questioning their sexual orientation!)

10. So a hospital is like a jungle, there are rules, but they are mostly ignored!

My midsummer night’s dream

Let me tell you a hilarious comedy,
Let’s save that polytrauma they said.
Four surgeons ran into the OR,
And everyone ended up wed.

Helena, Hermia, Lysander and Demetrius,
Around the table they stood,
All scrubbed up clean,
Like gods in green.

Hermia painted the enormous abdomen,
Her eyes like orbs ‘neath the OR lights,
Lysander gazed upon her as he wore his gloves,
Benath the mask her rosy lips just out of sight.

Lysander loved Hermia and she loved him,
The fate of Demetrius’s love for Hermia was grim.

Hermia’s father wanted her to marry Demetrius,
After all he is the best in plastics thought he,
And so he told Theseus the chief of surgery,
Theseus was set to marry his love in all Athenian splendour,
He gave Hermia time until then,
She decided to run away and marry Lysander.

As they stepped into the OR that day,
Demetrius was blinded by hate,
nothing could stop him from mutilating Lysander’s face.

The nurse fairy pock,
With his love potion saw this all,
To set things right he has been sent,
By the fairy neurosurgeon Oberon himself.

As Hermia took the scalpel and inscised the skin,
Puck used the potion on Lysander,
He asked Helena for the forceps,
And thus struck the fatal arrows of love.

Puck cursed the masks,
But all was not lost,
He used the potion on Demetrius,
Who then asked Helena to hold the retractor,
He fell in love as Lysander noted a fracture.

Lysander and Demetrius fought the beast to woe the fair maiden,
Through layers of fat and hardly any muscle they toiled.
The jealousy in Hermia’s eyes like blood in a cauldron boiled,
As Demetrius cut, clamped, sutured,
To nail the femur Lysander began to drill.

This time Puck cursed his brain,
And used the potion on Lyssander again.
Lysander saw Hermia this time,
As she handed him the plate,
His love restored to its former infatuation like state.
She held the retractors with such dignity,
After all she was surgeon blood thought he.

When at last the skin was stapled
And all that broken was mended,
At the start they were like a ship lost at sea,
But when they stepped out of the OR,
They were four newly weds to be.